You are afraid of being exposed as weak and vulnerable. You see, men are naturally wired to not feel as many emotional cycles — and nowhere near as extreme as their female counterparts. Good luck and thanks for sharing this here. I love him very much but I always question my relationship and what I stand in his life. They hope you get it on your own.
But yeah, it's hard to express feelings. If you wait too long, then you lost your chance and if possible, it's much harder to get them back. If you don't talk, you get yelled at for being silent. If I stay with him, will I always to have to be upbeat and stroke his ego or is there a solutionn? I gets mad if the kids we talk in the living room. Most of the time, people don't even realize they've hurt me because I haven't said anything about it. Communication is the key, because we as humans need to be constantly reminded through words about the way we feel about each other. The fact that they care so much is actually why they shut down.
Not able to express your feelings to someone is due to the fear of rejection and loosing the current relation we hold. It can be hard to express what you are feeling when you do not have the words to do so. Then why do we forget that men too would feel at cloud 9, if we just whispered little nothings into their ear, once in a while? We also have two children together. My best advice would be for you to find a highly skilled couples therapist who understands how the two of you can get this right, and you can let this person know your concerns. Deciding how to bring up a discussion about your feelings with others can be an intimidating task.
So the more your partner withdraws or seems to shut down, the less you feel noticed, the louder you get, and the harder you poke. Hi Carolyn, Thanks for such a thoughtful post. I feel defeated and not important more so invisible. Would he be open to something like that? So why not begin today with some basic tips that can add quite the spark into your relationship! I wish you all the best and please know you deserve a relationship in which you are respected, cared for and loved. I need his physical and emotional involvement in our relationship and I dont feel like Im getting it.
An Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist is someone who is trained specifically to address this pattern that you are dealing with. I wasn't going to let you go so easily! There is a listing of excellent couples therapists on this site: I recognize my own circumstances in a lot of these letters. For example, if you felt happy today, describe what color or what kind of weather your happiness would be. For instance, the laws of attraction require that we abide by them and not lose track of them. I really appreciate your feedback and letting me know how this post came across to you. Sometimes it can be hard when partners trigger each other as we all do in love, and couples wind up going in circles. While the stereotype is that men have the hardest time expressing their emotions, everyone at one time or another in their life may find it difficult to say how they feel.
We love one another deeply and do not see ourselves being with anyone else. Well it is very common human behaviour. These messages should encapsulate your feelings in a few words. I have expressed this quite clearly and my intelligent and once wonderful husband who loved me more than anything, does not seem to care how harmful his behavior is, as long as it works for him. Every moment spent together is another one of my dreams coming true. We have only been married for 4 years.
When I confront him with these issues ie neglect, drinking, women he is all over the place with his emotions. Damn I wish I could meet you so we can talk about this : He has been such an ass to me …. I have been with my husband for 8 years. Sometimes he'll get really frustrated with me and tell me that I'm not contributing and that he feels like its a monologue rather than a conversation. One thing I believe is that we come with our baggage to our relationships.
I had already fallen for you from the day I first met you, and I wasn't really looking forward to giving up so soon. My boyfriend likes to talk about how he feels, our relationship and his work. He has bipolar which obviously has had a big impact on our relationship. Both must take 100% responsibility to make things work. I would just like to know whether to abandon hope or not. He is very weird, his behavior hurts me even though I try so hard to understand him.
Maybe then he'll see that he's contributing to the problem. I think its silent frustration. I thought about all the things that turned me off about him. My life at school sucked big time as well around that time and I never showed my bullies how much they were hurting me, I always pretended as if I wasn't hurt by the things they did to me and told me. Have you thought about getting personalized support for this? In this case, it's that things are fine and I am happy in my relationship.