I also removed this one, but yeah, that's it. My life is no longer fun and relaxed. We have 2 kids who get home at 4. Sometimes they lie to avoid a confrontation with you because they know what they did was wrong. I know that now that you are apart they see more than ever that he cannot maintain an honest and meaningful relationship with anyone. I was a compulsive liar from the time I was a child until I was in my mid-20s. He has admitted to me that sometimes he does shit to piss me off on purpose then he'll feel bad for it later and gets mad if I don't except his apology right away.
I've done the same thing you have, making sure I just tell the truth. If you are having difficulty dealing with dishonesty in the marriage, consider seeking professional help. Now I am 63 and trying to start over is almost impossible. Savannah, I saw the same things you brought up about this article how it was not biblical. I dated a guy like this before, it was annoying and we're not dating now.
We went to your siminar at church, which is how I first came to your postings. He owns a business that has a tiki bar. My boyfriend has said flat-out to me: You can always tell me things, and I still talk myself out of it periodically. In high school when I actually had a few things to hide, I took some horrible! Hi sad dad, I am asking the same question…. I guess it depends on the type of lie. When I prove he is lying then he breaks things, threatens to hurt himself, and runs away. The last guy I started dating I made a vow: 100% honesty.
Not sure what to do anymore because everyone is tired of me and I am tired of telling my stories. He put his hands on me and all his family and his friends can say is, you went to jail? So I confronted him, and when I asked him why he didn't tell me about the time off work, he said well I knew if I told you I wanted to take several days off you would have thought I'd been suspended for something bad, you'd never have believed that I just took off because I needed time to relax. I told a few of those little lies to a guy I was dating and got caught, and it permanently shook his trust in me, justifiably so. But I have no one else to talk to about this. Even still, at 25, if I stay at her house for the night I can guarantee she's going to go through my backpack if I don't keep it in my room.
What you described with the boundary enforcing and how every decision was wrong and possibly dangerous was exactly how I was raised. No matter what his claims whether he claims to be a Christian or not , constant lying is ungodly, and if after 30 years he is still subjecting his wife to constant lying, that boundary needs to be set in place, and he needs to experience the consequences of breaking his marriage covenant. My husband has been lieing to me he has stolen from me and he has lost my house that I lived in for 30 years. My husband has never gone out and spent more than 50 without telling me first, so that I am thankful for. So I decided to try an experiment: the total truth. He's supposed to be proving to me that he isn't a liar and he isn't hiding things from me. If you don't look, sometimes I don't, I tune out what he says when I start to think he is lying which means for a good part of the time, I can't tell you anything he's said.
I've learned to love people from a distance, and even though I didn't want to be alone, I severed ties with some guys and friends alike, and my life his been better because I'm not stressed. For example, a person may brag about their position at the office in an attempt to make them sound much more important than they really are. I try my hardest to be a good wife and follow God, but at times my anger blinds me. Sometimes it works, sometmes it doesn't. Some people are just compulsive liars. I think he uses theses lies as in escape from reality. You mentioned that you had lies growing up.
I even find or I suspect often times that he blames the children for things he actually does. When you bring in the porn factor, it can be very difficult to put a relationship back together, if there was one in the beginning. Next he messaged saying he lied and that he is not drinking but no apology. Though my mother's intrusiveness into my life was based on religion, which added another level of confusion for me at a young age. He lied to me for over a week after getting fired, pretending to go to work and then coming home once I left.
Once I asked him about that he said he didn't eat lunch! My husband and I have been married for about 10 years, together for 12. I admit I let it go on for far too long, but I caught him in every single lie whether I called him out or not. I found out he was addicted to porn. You're right, sometimes lies are told because of the listeners reaction. It cannot be healthy if one side is consistently lying. I have been guilty of exaggerating a metric here or there or omitting facts for my own advantage. He says it was just easier to say that he got it for free then to tell me the truth.
I lied to my husband about having the right insurance on a ups item that got lost. If your spouse were honest about spending time with his friends, would you get angry and retaliate? I know that women like to control things but somethings you just have to let go. Everyone said you are so lucky. He is very loving towards me, shops for me, we travelled to different countries. Once again I believed he was done lying and was so in love and stupid. Three years ago, I notice him disconnecting emotionally. I cannot comprehend in my mind how anyone could fabricate even the slightest amount of what i am now finding out from friends,previous husbands and family.
I would never, ever lie about something important. Stating that you believe that someone is lying or stating that something is the only right answer is invalidating their experiences. I don't recognize them but they look great! My mom died recently and 3 of my siblings have overdosed and died also. I hate I wasted time on this filth of a human being. And even when things went poorly, I felt validated knowing that whatever I'd said, it was what was true in my heart. Im worried he will lie about bigger things. But he says he will contest a divorce.